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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once again, hloaroo comes through with the dirty little "behind the scenes" research no one else wanted to do.

Thank you, H!

You Rock Very Happy
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dave Barry

Quote:
According to www.snopes.com,


Sorry, I am adamant about checking things with snopes. Am I bad.
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:13 pm    Post subject: OK This is checked out with snopes Reply with quote

OK This is checked out with snopes

Bank: This is the Bank of America, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.
Bank: Why?
Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants, and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.
Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your account number?
Customer: (gives account number)
Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?
Customer: No.
Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.
Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is that your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal
immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would
you?
Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.
Customer: Why not?
Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line.

CHECK THIS OUT ON SNOPES! IT'S TRUE!
http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp
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hloaroo



Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

emelle wrote:
Once again, hloaroo comes through with the dirty little "behind the scenes" research no one else wanted to do.


Yeah, I'm a total nerd when it comes to internet research. lol
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JBMason
Site Admin


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 387
Location: Lexington KY

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This link appeared on my favorite social-bookmarking site today, and it reminded me of Mad Men, so I thought you fans of Mad Men would enjoy this link:

Arrow someday all cans will open this easily
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
Yes, I love it... very "Mad Men"
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I converted this email to a doc file and posted it on my site.
http://www.thejmason.com/Interesting/Zen%20Judaism.doc
It was sent by a jewish friend and I find it funny.
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dunno why Daddy didn't just post this stuff here instead of sending to my email inbox:

http://haha.nu/creative/what-if-we-have-only-number-9/
http://www.noob.us/entertainment/baby-genius-knows-her-geography/
http://www.u-starvin.com/micromaniac/

I haven't actually looked at any of these because of the constraints of my computer (and the fact that they were not posted here) - I think the "u-starvin" has to do with the master cleanse I did, and I think the "number-9" is because we had a phone conversation about Daddy's ability to do square roots (like anyone has ever NEEDED to be able to do square roots, particularly in one's head! HA!)

I'm posting them here so that when I'm on someone else's broadband connection, I'll be able to actually look at them... and I don't really want email crap in my inbox anyway. Sorry, Daddy.
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:25 pm    Post subject: Funny and true, At least to me. Reply with quote

This for all of our friends on this forum
Male/Female Brain comparison


http://www.thejmason.com/Life/Funny/TALEOFTWOBRAINS.wmv
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:51 am    Post subject: Funny Japanese Videos Reply with quote

Funny Japanese TV Programs

http://www.thejmason.com/Life/Japan/

They are petty self evident in what the concept is, but on some there are explanations needed before it really makes sense.

The parking car: There is balloon attached to that wall, the object is to break the balloon without breaking the wall

Bug Ladies: Any video where they are dressed as bugs, if you lose, the bug lady chew some foul smelling stuff and blows her breathe down a tube into your face.

Caution: These videos are addicting.
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what the hell is an .flv file? and how do i open them? they look like a .txt file with a bunch of code printed out...
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

emelle wrote:
what the hell is an .flv file? and how do i open them?


Sorry it is a flash video file. I just uploaded a flash player to
http://www.thejmason.com/Life/Japan/FLVPlayer_install.exe

When in the Japan folder; choose a video; right click; chose copy link location.
install it and when it opens click on file, choose the 2nd option which is open URL. When the box opens up, Hold down the control key and hit the v button (this is the same as right click, paste). Click OK and it will open the file and play it. Sorry I thought your browser would play it automatically.
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netgeek64



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 116
Location: Fairbanks, AK

PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:40 pm    Post subject: Frozen in Grand Central Station Reply with quote

This is totally wild - these people just froze in place for 5 minutes (207 people) in the middle of Grand Central Station. The people passing by have the funniest reactions, but the best one is from the guy trying to drive his cart through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo
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Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Mommy's favorite Bible verse)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I finally got to watch this - the first time I tried, I had my volume up and scared the crap out of the cats when the guy started talking on his bullhorn (and that was as far as it got on my dial-up)... this was really great. Thanks for linking it!
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:31 pm    Post subject: Cats Reply with quote

http://terric.oicp.net/post/pic19.html
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 11:11 pm    Post subject: Gay Terrorist Alert Reply with quote

Gay Terrorist alert
http://thejmason.com/Forum%20Pix/Osama.jpg

after looking at picture

Scroll Down



























Osama Bin Shoppin
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:10 am    Post subject: Cute Reply with quote

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year .

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be An American.
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The hardest thing to learn is:
Which bridge to cross and which to burn.
Live Free or Die trying


Last edited by Dad on Fri May 09, 2008 10:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:07 am    Post subject: Kids First Reply with quote

Made me Laugh

http://thejmason.com/Forum%20Pix/kidsfirst.jpg Laughing
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:03 pm    Post subject: LETTER TO MY PETS Reply with quote

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
1. eat less,
2. don't ask for money all the time,
3. are easier to train,
4. normally come when called,
5. never ask to drive the car,
6. donít hang out with drug-using people;
7. don't smoke or drink,
8. donít want to wear your clothes,
9. don't have to buy the latest fashions,
10. don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
11. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:16 am    Post subject: Coffe Filters Reply with quote

COFFEE FILTERS

Coffee filters ..who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing.

1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows and mirrors. Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China. Separate your good dishes by putting a coffee filter between each dish.

4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.

5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.

6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.

7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.

8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.

9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.

10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.

11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.

12. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them, soaks out all of the grease.

13. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."
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