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Grief and Gratefulness
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ah, w2t13he old "dxcwhy haave I` waited so long to post gratitude?" thing again... (btw, the weird typing is Cocoa saying hello)...
if all of your insuyrhabnce 53652premiums come due at the /*9s+-ame time, then you should be grateful to be insured, right? I am... gI have a car I need to renew the tag on, renew the insurance on, get the multi-policy discount on for also having renter's insurance which is also due... and I have health coverage which is also due soon! This MUST make me a money magnet, thank you, thank you, thank you, so I just want to say that I'm GRATEFUL for these blessings!
If you're lonely, no one seems to need anything from you, keeping you even more isolated... so I just want to say that I'm GRATEFUL for all the friends in my life who NEED me - if only to bend an ear, or to borrow a tennis racquet or housing for a little while or sit on my lap and rub their faces against my keyboard... plus, well, there is that other "special" friend who is keeping me incredibly happy right now. Wink
If the weather is icky and you know you need to dance and swim to stay fit, you just keep doing that, and eventually the weather will shape up while you tone up so you can also ride your bike! So of course, I just want to say that I'm GRATEFUL for my perfect health and for increasingly-pleasant weather allowing me to be even more physically fit!
I have complete joy, and for that, I am GRATEFUL (oh, yeah, and BLESSED!)

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get to work today! I get to work today! (C'mon, folks, sing it with me...) I get to work today! I get to work today! I get to work today!...
Yes, I AM GRATEFUL that I get to go play a nurse on a night-shoot for CSI (Las Vegas) in a cold, rainy setting. I AM a money magnet, thank you thank you thank you...
And even tho Cocoa is trying to say hello, she's only managed to insert spaces, which I've deleted, so YOU should be grateful you can actually READ today's post!
And my health is still perfect, and I still have amazing relationships, and I still have nine dance lessons left in my "account", and I still get to swim at the Y and ride my bike for my errands, and in LESS THAN THREE WEEKS I'll be hangin' at Rachel's crib, helping her with last-minute wedding stuff... in fact, in EXACTLY three weeks, I'll be dancing at her wedding! Woo Hoo!
I have complete joy, and I AM BLESSED.

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I JUST LEARNED that my niece and her fiancee are LOVING their dance lessons and will do what they can to continue them past this initial wedding-preliminary package... that THRILLS me! So, I am GRATEFUL to Brett for introducing ballroom dance into this family... I am GRATEFUL to have had the money available to me (despite the circumstances that created them) to have been able to take my own private lessons for the last two years... I am GRATEFUL that there is a franchised dance studio near the soon-to-be-married couple where they could get their lessons... I am GRATEFUL that the folks at my church are interested enough in ballroom dance to ask me to teach a handful of 4th-grade girls an introduction for a few weeks... I am GRATEFUL that my sweetheart is patient enough to let me practice those lessons on him first... I am GRATEFUL that I'll be in Florida a few days before the wedding so I can help the couple with any last-minute tweaks that they might not get if their intro package runs out by then.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR DANCE! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In almost exactly seven days from NOW I will be in Florida, preparing and helping to prepare any last-minute wedding things that I can help with. THAT moment in time will be almost exactly one week from when I did my very first ADR work, on a movie I shot FIVE YEARS AGO... a horror flick with a story... my first Hollywood starring role in a "major motion picture". Go here to watch the trailer and help to create "buzz" so that when the flick hits the festivals it will be screened by many incredibly important industry people who will give it wide distribution so you'll be able to see it on a big screen before you buy the DVD.

So, yeah, I'm grateful it was so easy to get my tickets for Rachel's wedding; I'm grateful Jesse's finally going to make an honest woman of her Wink; I'm grateful to have learned about "looping" today; I'm grateful I did some personal assistance yesterday; I'm grateful that they make waterproof bandages so I can still do my daily swim, even with moles just removed for biopsy; I'm grateful I'm beginning to tolerate (just barely) somewhat spicier foods than I used to by MY OWN CHOICE; I'm grateful that there IS work to be done, for me and for anyone who wants to do it, if we can just FIND it. I have enormous wealth, perfect health, amazing relationships, and complete joy. Don't you?

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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netgeek64



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 116
Location: Fairbanks, AK

PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:22 pm    Post subject: Grieving Reply with quote

Just when you think you're done, you're not. Facebook can be, and often is, a wondrous tool. This morning, however, it brought me great sadness. Cindy Furr, the head cheerleader from my graduating class, and an honors student like me, was killed in a car crash yesterday evening. Her 3-year-old daughter also died. Cindy was on her way to church for a choir practice (most likely for today's service). This is unremarkable except that Cindy was the choir director. We had our cantata this morning. I had a solo. I spent the morning grieving and then had to put on my game face so that I could get through the service. I'm at such a loss right now. I knew her so well and I just can't wrap my head around the whole "history repeating itself" thing. She was my age. I suppose I can be grateful that she was a Christian and was assured of her homecoming. It's still pretty awful, though. Here I am, anticipating my beautiful daughter's wedding, and I can't seem to muster up a positive thought. Maybe tomorrow. We'll see. Sad
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Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Mommy's favorite Bible verse)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cheryl: look at your signature line! See if that can give you any comfort... if you know Cindy was assured of her celestial home, then you also know that everything that happens HAPPENS for a REASON, and that this is not a case of "history repeating itself" but more likely, God's Timing. I didn't know Cindy but I knew her sister Sharon, so I'm sure your grief is shared. Crying or Very sad
Thank you for your lovely comment to Steve's FB post - we both enjoyed it. Razz I'm grateful to you for posting your grief in both places.

Today I am also grateful that I'll be on my plane in less than 24 hours - this means I have a rather large circle of prayer warriors sending me traveling mercies, as well as only one more day to stress over all my little traveling details. For example, I am grateful that I'll probably be able to fit everything I need to pack in one garment bag or roll-y carryon so I won't be charged for a checked bag. I'm grateful for the use of a couple of "wraps" from my Y ladies to keep my shoulders warm and stylish in the cool night air that will follow the warm sunny Florida days. I'm grateful for the input of friends as to which wrap(s) look best with which dresses. I'm grateful I can check in any time now so I can print both my itinerary and boarding pass. I'm grateful that my friend Jen is going to house-sit so I don't have to worry anymore about my kitties. I'm grateful that my other friend Stephanie has agreed to drop me off at the close shuttle to LAX so no one has to drive to that monster. I'm grateful that Stephanie's getting auditions (YAY, WORK!) and that if I have to drive myself to the shuttle it won't cost TOO much to long-term park. I'm grateful I'm not a big spender and that I've had sufficient income (such that it is) that I'll at least have some mad money for this week. I'm grateful for the opportunity to camp out this week with a bunch of soon-to-be best friends! I'm grateful that my absence will allow Steve to spend a little more time this week on his screenplay so that when I get back, I'll be a welcome distraction for him! What do you all think, is that enough gratitude? Rolling Eyes

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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netgeek64



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 116
Location: Fairbanks, AK

PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So very many things to be grateful for - it's hard to know where to begin.

My husband loves me and protects me. He safeguards my feelings and lets me be myself.

Men provide endless amusement. The traditional tie dance comes to mind.

The ocean (and any type of water, really) grounds my soul. I feel very connected and content when I can watch the waves crash and roll.

My daughter who was so beautiful as a bride. She will be so beautiful as a wife. She has such a sweet spirit.

My family understands me. They rally 'round no matter what the situation.

My ex-husband remains my friend as do his side of the family. I realize that this is an unusual thing and I am all the more blessed because of it.
_________________
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Mommy's favorite Bible verse)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a FABULOUS week in Florida, being not IN the wedding party but definitely a part OF it (i.e. "den mother") and made quite a few new BFF's! The process of last-minute planning was methodical, easy to follow, timely, and fun... the wedding was beautiful... the reception was crazy mad entertaining... the wind-down was much-needed and still not too abrupt... I made it home EARLY because the lovely Theresa ground-crew lady at the teeny tiny airport (where everyone else had been delayed due to weather cancellations from their connections) found me seats on a competitor's plane that was leaving RIGHT THEN, and the connection was boarding RIGHT THEN (when I arrived at the second gate). Now I just gotta find out if I get all the miles from the booked flights or if I have to register for another mileage program, hmm. My cats were well loved in my absence and thus not too angry with me upon my return. The shuttling of me to and from my flights worked out very well, and I even got to see Stephen when I got home since I arrived so early. {yay!}

I am SO GRATEFUL for this "break" from my unemployment, and for the emotional support and love that flowed so freely in all directions where I was and where I wasn't this week. I look forward to the real break in my unemployment (I hear things are firing up again, YAY!) and to the continued love and support that flows so freely in all directions where I am and where I amn't. Thank you to all of you who participated (and continue to participate) in this love-fest I'm in. I AM BLESSED.

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

too long between posts, again, I know... but I am GRATEFUL that my newest unemployment claim did NOT include the traditional waiting period, and that I worked enough last year (particularly on Mad Men) to increase my benefit... so as Stephen would say, I received on Monday "Mailbox Money" (unexpected dough, yay!) and then I am GRATEFUL to have gotten notice today that I have a fitting for Mad Men next Monday so I may not be unemployed for very much longer (yay!) and then I am GRATEFUL that I still have some dance lessons left and I get to assist my women and I get to spend mucho time with Stephen (yay!)

I am BLESSED. R U?

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ai Yai Yai I can't believe I've been so lazy (and then so BUSY, yay!) to post... all this time since BEFORE my fitting! So here's what I've been lazy and busy with:
Fitting for the show was my one day of "real" work in the month of April (but then again, I got to attend a fabulous wedding and spend a full week with my excellent niece and her awesome HUSBAND). The rest of that week was lazy and waiting to hear "when do we go back to set to WORK?" which gave me "good-bye" days with my ladies at the Y with whom I swim, and a relaxed, prep weekend with Stephen. THEN, this week I worked on the set of Mad Men on Monday as a secretary in the pool, did some Production Assistant work for a fitting for Mad Men on Tuesday, jumped back in the pool on Wednesday, PA'd another fitting on Thursday, and then got to enter and leave the office about a million times with the rest of the pool on Friday! Five days of work on the same show is practically unheard of at my level in the food chain, so all I can say is I AM BLESSED!!!
I had the weekend off and was in such a spin over the previous week that all my dreams related to work... I know that my dreams will return to normal once things stabilize; I just hope that "stabilize" means at least one day of PA work and at least two days in the "pool" every week so my dreams don't become "when do I go back to work?" I"ll take five consecutive days every week for the next 17 weeks if I can get it; after Mad Men wraps this season, I'll be able to appreciate the blessing of a short hiatus! 'Cuz then, of course, everything else will be in full swing again and I can go back to the truly temporary nature of my job where I work on four different projects every week!
Now for today, since Mother's Day kinda fits in this category anyway: I do miss my Mommy, and I got to sing a solo in church this morning because it was my first Mother's Day in church at all since my loss, so as far as my grief is concerned, I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. Cheryl called to check on me since I'm NOT on Facebook, and we had a lovely conversation. I'm going to see Star Trek this evening, and tomorrow is a 98% chance of being a day off (yes, they still have until 11 p.m. to book me on something) so I'm going to try to do productive stuff that's still relatively fun.

Long post, I know. This is why I try to keep posting more often. But I don't get to hear from any of you much, either, so... here's me.
I AM BLESSED.

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MUST... POST... GRATEFULNESS!!!!!!!!!
I have been remiss, and what I've discovered is that even though I may FEEL grateful, unless I write it down (like, say, in a handwritten Thank You card for gifts received at my birthday) I don't seem to reap the healthful benefits of feeling it (or at least, not as much). I received a beautiful, handwritten thank you card from my lovely niece for the role I played in her amazing wedding (BTW, Rachel, I was definitely NOT disappointed in your wedding dancing, I thought you and your groom made full use of the lessons and looked so beautiful, graceful, and experienced on that dance floor). Receiving that card made me feel so loved, and grateful for all the blessings in my life that I seem to be taking for granted lately. So in no particular order:
I am grateful to have such an amazing family. I know that in the midst of all your trials and tribulations, you still care about my trials and you worry about my survival in this tough economy in my chosen industry. I wish for you to thrive in your chosen industries and I thank you for your presence in my life.
I am grateful for my huge circle of friends. I have SO MANY people with whom I feel a close bond, not just that passing "oh, yeah, I know him, or I remember her from such-and-such". These are people with whom I'm in contact daily or weekly who ask how I'm doing and WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER. I wish for you the best health and wealth, and I thank you for your presence in my life.
I am grateful that my two cats who are still essentially babies are also so self-sufficient and yet want and need my attention and affection too. They get into so much mischief but how can I not forgive them when all they really need of me is a little lap time in the morning and/or at night? They can't read, so I guess I won't say "thank you" to them here... Wink
I am grateful that at my age I can still look absolutely gorgeous on an incredible television show like Mad Men, and that I can come home, even just to sleep so I can work again, still looking absolutely gorgeous. I think today I may have thanked all those remotely responsible for my gorgeosity, oh, umpteen times each.
I am grateful that I have the skills necessary to withstand the uncertainty of my chosen industry, and to work consecutive LONG days (like today, for instance, was only 13.5 hours and I get to go in tomorrow at 6 a.m.) intermingled with the unemployment that I collect when there are only single, short days or even fewer work days than that. I love my job! Any day on set is a good day, even at its worst. How did I manage to be so blessed as to get to do what I do? Thank you, God, for these skills and drives.
I am grateful for the reunion with my college sweetheart. He knows me better than most, and he still loves me more than most, too. AND he understands why I love my job, and why I get a little depressed when there isn't a job for me to go to, and why I can sacrifice "us" time when there IS one. He lets me be supportive of his interests without expecting me to be a lapdog. He is incredibly supportive of my interests (like dance), and I hope he knows how much I appreciate that. He knows how to show me a good time and he knows how to budget his money. He knows when to tell me I'm beautiful, and how to say what's on his heart and mind. He's decisive and open to suggestion; he's strong and gentle; he's daring and conservative; he has good taste. He snuggles really well. Smile Stephen, thank you for not asking me "why".
I am grateful for the sunny skies. I'm grateful for the longer days. I'm grateful for the financial incentives out there for people like me to look into home ownership again. I'm grateful for the glut of housing for people like me to improve our standards of living. I'm grateful that Arthur Murray dance is actually a better bargain than any of us initially thought. I'm grateful that the Y is such a good deal, and that I live so close to it I can conserve gas by riding my bike to it. I'm grateful that my money magnetism was only slightly turned off by my ingratitude, and that my personal economy can turn around so quickly when I just put words to more than air. Thank you, again, God, for reminding me of my purpose, and what I need to do to continue towards the finish line.
I'm grateful that even though Brett thinks this site is obsolete, I still get to post here. Thank you, Brett, for the occasional video you'll send to me under separate cover, and for appreciating my (our family) sense of humor, and for continuing to put up with my obstinacy regarding posting here rather than a monster forum.
I'm blessed, and I know I won't get to read about your blessings until I give in to the peer pressure, but I do know that you're all still out there, occasionally checking here and catching up on my life. I would love to hear from you here, but I understand that I may never get to again. That's okay. I'm still blessed. I hope you all feel as blessed as I do, and that you write down your gratitude somewhere...

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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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netgeek64



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 116
Location: Fairbanks, AK

PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm here. I read the forum. It's on my favorites tab in Firefox so I look every day. I love you, emelle.
_________________
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Mommy's favorite Bible verse)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm grateful for my second long day of work in a row, and I'm grateful that I get to carpool in with a friend who lives nearby tomorrow... I'm grateful that Cheryl reads here daily and that her stressed situation seems to be showing its solutions. I'm grateful to have time to log on to the internet at night before I sleep in preparation of work... since I haven't been wasting my days in front of my computer, it's much more productive time! I'm grateful that I get to go to bed soon... ah, sleep... what a wonderful way to end a wonderful day!

Good night, kiddies. God loves you, and so do I.

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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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JBMason
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Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 387
Location: Lexington KY

PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

emelle wrote:
I'm grateful that Cheryl reads here daily

Cheryl's not the only one. Being between computer projects, I have loads of free time which I try to drain by websurfing, so of course I open this JBTalk bookmark regularly to see if there's any activity.

I just don't interact with you here regularly because I want you to join Facebook -- so I can disable this website. (Let's simplify our lives, shall we?)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBMason wrote:
I just don't interact with you here regularly because I want you to join Facebook -- so I can disable this website. (Let's simplify our lives, shall we?)

Brett, I love you, I really do. You just have no idea how disabling this website would NOT simplify my life. I've seen Facebook. I know how mind-numbingly complicated it would make my life, and how much MORE time I would waste online than I already do. So THANK YOU for not disabling this website!
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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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netgeek64



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 116
Location: Fairbanks, AK

PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

emelle, did you ever get to see brett's post-birthday video he made about your card to him? it's pretty great!
_________________
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Mommy's favorite Bible verse)
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Three amazing, fabulous days on set, doing the best job in the world with the best people possible... Finally caught up with my beau for the weekend... finally catching up on much-needed sleep to prepare for the avalanche of work I KNOW is heading my way... finally going to strip the chlorine residue from my hair so it styles EVEN MORE BEAUTIFULLY on set... singing a favorite hymn in church tomorrow... money in the mail and a brand-new bank branch to deposit it to... and of course, the yahoo links Brett sends of his little videos, particularly the "thanks for the snail mail" video... and not having to move until I have time to wrap my brain and schedule around finding my dream home.

For all these things (well, yeah, and more) I am TRULY BLESSED and incredibly grateful.

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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

work went really well and was exciting!!! the weekend was full without being crazy busy... today I rode my bike to the Y and then got my car maintained (10,000 mile service), filled my gas tank for less than normal of late, visited my new bank branch and Trader Joe's (and because of all my "on set leftovers" had very little I needed to buy)... ran into a lady from church at the market and we spoke of the special music I sang yesterday... got home for a little nap with the kitties and now I'm waiting to head out to my dance classes.

I'm blessed to live such a laid-back life, and I'm grateful for what I hope is only a mini-break from my great work!

oh... and I just made an appointment to meet with our new Voiceover department head tomorrow at my agency! Woo Hoo!

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have been riding the bike to the Y every day this week (and will continue to, as the weather holds) so I'm back to building my leg muscles (you'd think dance would do that, but NO)... broke out my hula hoop today to rebuild my abdominals and was ABYSMAL (no worries, it'll come back as will my abs)... was stalked on my ride home yesterday and nearly hit three times in traffic today - is that to make me a better DRIVER or to just up my awareness on a bike so that when I get a motorcycle I'll be super-safe? yup, I'm going with that one... Smile
Had a delicious leftover meal heated on my newly-acquired, gently-used quesadilla maker, and then had a little nap. I get to dance tonight and tomorrow I get my first dental checkup in years! Oh, and even though my friends are working on "Iron Man 2" without me this week, it looks like Mad Men will be back to work for another potential three days NEXT WEEK!
Yay! I'm blessed!

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This has been a pretty good "work week" considering I haven't worked. Been riding the bike, been swimming, been dancing, GOT MY TEETH CLEANED, and have been getting paid for last week. Have been eating plenty of leftovers and ran my dishwasher this morning while at the Y. Feels like I'm losing weight (oh, yeah, my hula hoop works again), even though the scale lied to me today Razz... and I get to go to a great poolside barbecue and watch the Rose Bowl's fireworks show tomorrow!

So since I get to go to work on Mad Men on Monday, I just have to try NOT to get any sun on my face or arms this weekend! Drat! Still, I have to say that I'm feeling pretty blessed, and for all these blessings and more, I AM GRATEFUL.

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you ever KNOW that you have many blessings to be grateful for, and WANT to express that gratitude but find yourself being overtaken by the BLAHS instead? Since the barbecue overlooking the Rose Bowl (which was an amazing party, btw), I have danced and danced and danced, swum at the Y, enjoyed a couple of good meals with friends, attended ANOTHER fun barbecue, received ALL of my expected pay (including unexpected - well, early pay) due me, covered the outstanding bills, spent quality time with my cats and with my sweetie and with my cats and sweetie Wink, oh yeah, got rear-ended, and then chastised/mothered by the choir chick at church today. It's been a full week, and if you go through those events, MOST of them are blessings for me to be grateful for. But I've got the blahs, and I left church early today 'cuz I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for communion or fellowship that follows. So what's the answer? How do I overcome this general melancholy I feel, when it happens at the same time as good, happy feelings? I know that I AM BLESSED... just having difficulty getting back to my normal, general state of FEELING it and expressing my effervescent, vivacious, outgoing, and FUN personality!
I'm grateful for this blog so I can post my melancholy and maybe get some suggestions... St. John's Wort is NOT working... Razz
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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what's the answer? PURPOSE. PRODUCTIVITY. A sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT (for no matter how small or large a task). On Monday of this week, I decided enough was enough - I cleaned out my refrigerator of all the old, smelly, sticky, expired foods (some of which had been left behind by the former roommate - 2 YEARS AGO), including condiments I'll never use and things I could freeze long enough to get them out of the plasticware. I wiped up puddles, I soaked and scrubbed drawers and shelves, and I ran my dishwasher while I was out on another errand. Got back from the errand to CLEAN dishes and a CLEAN (nearly-EMPTY) refrigerator and a HUGE sense of well-being. It turned around the whole day, and when my sweetie pointed out that I didn't need therapy, just a good task, it became my mission to accomplish something every day. I can't even recall at this point what those "somethings" have been the rest of the week, but there have been "somethings" daily, because the fog is lifting... the cabin fever is breaking... I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I FEEL GOOD again! YAY!
So today I was able to drop my rear-ended car off at the body shop and pick up my "soccer mom" rental... and I'll be in that for a month or so, unless the insurance agency agrees to the second estimate and says "get 'er done!" so I can get back into my own 5-speed stick car.
I'm grateful for my insightful beau; I'm grateful for tasks I'm willing to complete for self-esteem raising; I'm grateful the accident is being covered by the other party; I'm grateful I get to tango tonight; I'm grateful to have one of the coolest apartments in the Valley (it's 102 everywhere else but only 86 here - with open doors, windows, and a fan); I'm grateful for my perfect health and my amazingly clean white teeth; I'm grateful to have only good food in my pantry, fridge, and freezer; I'm grateful that the weekend is almost upon us, and I feel like I deserve a weekend!
I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it 'cuz it's just so true - I AM BLESSED. Cool

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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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Dad



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:21 am    Post subject: Me too :D Reply with quote

I feel great. I cleaned out my frig and sanitized it, threw out all old item. Found pack of Ballpark Beef Franks that I forgot I had. Woo Hoo Very Happy
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess I've just been so blessed with little accomplishments that I haven't had anything new to say lately; hmm. Today I rode my bike early to the bank and got a cup of good coffee and ate an energy bar, then rode to the Y for my swim and nearly passed out from heat exhaustion two blocks from the Y! Guess the blessing is that I HAVE a car so I can drive to the Y since it is now officially too hot for me to make long bicycle trips (if over 100 degrees daily can be considered "too hot"). I can do a little laundry (or more than a little) for my sense of accomplishment today, altho, frankly, I'm pleased that I rode my bike as much as I did and completed an important task BEFORE my swim. Definitely gonna keep catching up on the Potter movies so I can decide soon whether I'll see the latest one in a theater with my beau or let him see it without me (and then watch it in a few months when he gets it on DVD). Definitely gonna keep cool by not really going anywhere else today until it's time to dance. Probably gonna have a nap 'cuz I can.
I feel blessed - I have a sneaking suspicion that that's because I AM. So, what am I GRATEFUL for? EVERYTHING!!! I think I may EVEN be grateful for the weird creeps who seem to think that I'm riding my bicycle FOR THEM and if they only ask me to, I'll get off the bike and get into their loud, rattling, old, beat-up trash cars and grace their skankiness with my company! Crazy men in this town! At least they give me something to laugh about before the heat makes me crash! Razz
Oh, by the way, this may not be the place to say it, but I remember when Brett used to send snail mail photocopies of his "Brett Mason's Brett Bugle
Documenting much of my life and a little of yours" and while I don't necessarily miss the snail mail, I do believe that Facebook has killed a little of Brett's (and possibly other people's) creative drive. He created this site with his own two hands, brain, and some education, so he could do what he loves to do - inform those of us who care, about what's going on in his world. I love that about this site. I think the monster out there has made it LESS personal, and much less fun and creative, and I hope it doesn't become Wal-Mart and completely overtake this "mom-n-pop" site. I'm GRATEFUL for this site. I like it very very much.

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"What shall we do today, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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emelle



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 463
Location: Hollywood, BABY!

PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am grateful for this blog, because even though Judy initially found me through FB and contacted me via my-sister-the-buffer, it was here that I vented my feelings about my past and it's here that I get to say I'm sorry for the pain I've ever caused anyone (and that pain is MUCH MORE RECENT than the pain I was lashing out against). Judy, I'm sorry.

Brett, you HAVE to keep this blog open! It's the only place I feel truly free to express myself, and I honestly do not care that it's "public" so anyone can find out how I truly feel. FB is shallow - this blog is HONEST and I'm SO GRATEFUL for it.

Cheryl, thank you for being the buffer. Stephen, thank you for pointing out what I knew to be the truth and for helping me to stop lashing out. Brett, thank you for this forum.

I got one day of work this week, and so far, I'm working on Monday. Tomorrow looks like it's going to be a great day with Stephen, and I just have to say it: MY LIFE IS BLESSED.

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"The same thing we do every day, Pinky... try to take over the world!"
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